Monday 20 February 2017

Adaptation B - Ideas of jokes

For adaptation part B I will be adapting a joke into an animation. I have not yet fully decided on what joke I would like to do but here is a list of ones that I am considering and why:

The hardest part about making skimmed milk must be throwing the cows across the lake. - For this jokes I could have a literal interpretation. Have a farmer with a milking factory and then a separate section for the skimmed milk on which the barn is next to a lake and has a machine to launch the cows across the water.

My Dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad that finally I had to take his bike away. - I feel as if this joke could work by mostly camera shots. Show the top half of the dog chasing people until the revel that it is the dogs bike that is being taken away in which you revel a full body show to show he was riding the bike all a long.

A horse and a chicken are playing in a field. The horse falls into a mud hole and starts to sink in. He calls for the chicken to get the farmer and help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer but the farmer cant be found. So the chicken, worried about his friend, steals the farmers BMW and drives it to the mud hole. He ties a piece of rope to his bumper and gives the other end to the horse and then drives the car pulling the horse to safety. A few days later the horse and the chicken where playing in the field again, this time the chicken fell into the mud and again started sinking. The chicken yelled at the horse to go and get the farmer to help. The horse said "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said grab my penis and pull yourself out. The chicken, looking shocked, does so to get to safety. The morel of the story is, if you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks. - Again I feel as if this joke would work best as a literal interpretation but having cartoon animals. Instead of having the joke narrated as well I would use the actions from the animals to convey the story and most likely have the punch line delivered by the horse after he saves the chicken.

An Irish man walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and then sits in the back of the room. The man drinks the three pints taking a sip at a time from each glass. When finished he walks back over to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One in America, the other in Australia. When we all left home we promised that we would all drink like this to remember the days we used to drink together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular at the pub always ordering three drinks at a time and drinking them a sip out of each glass at a time. One day he come in and orders only two pints. The whole pub falls silent. When he comes back to the bar for his second round the bartender says "I don't want to intrude but I'm sorry for your loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then realises what the bartender is talking about, he starts to laugh and say "Oh no, everyone is just fine! I've Just quit drinking!" - I feel as if this joke could work as an adaptation as having the characters as different animals, for example the Australian brother would be a kangaroo, the american a bald eagle and the Irishman a sheep dog. I feel a joke like this would work quite well as the long story can easily be adapted into a script and an animation.

A farmer was sitting in the local pub getting drunk when a man came up to him and asked "Hey, what are you doing in here on such as nice day?" The farmer just shook his head and said "some things you just cant explain." "So what happened that's so horrible" asked the man as he sat down next to the farmer. "Well," the farmer said, "Today I was sitting miking my cow. Just as I got the bucket full she lifted her left leg and kicked it over." "Okay" said the man "That's not too bad, could have been worse." "Some things you just can't explain" said the farmer. "So what happened next then? There must have been something that happened to get you inside on such a nice day" "Well" said the farmer, " I took her left leg and tied it to the post next to it." "And then?" asked the man. "Well I sat back down and started to milk her again, and just as I got the bucket full, she decided to kick the bucket over with her right leg." The man laughed and said "Again?" to which the farmer replied "Some things you just can't explain." "So what did you do next then?" Asked the man. "I tied up her right legs just as the left and started to milk her one last time. This time, just as the bucket got full the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail." "Hmmm" said the man nodding his head trying to hold in laughter. "Some things you just cant explain" said the farmer.  "So what did you do" asked the man. "Well..." said the farmer, "I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. When I did that my trousers fell down and my wife walked in...Some things you just can't explain" - I feel as if this joke could work quite well as it allows for jumping back and forth between the farmer telling the story and the actual actions taking place. I also feel as if it would work well with the characters switched around. So really the cow is the farmer for humans, and is milking a human rather then the other, normal way around.

Little April was not always the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through her class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tel me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't respond, Johnny, a boy seated behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY" Shouted April. The teacher looked at her and said "Very good." and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is out Lord and Saviour?" But April, being asleep, didn't respond. Again Johnny took a pin and poked it in April's rear. "JESUS CHRIST!" She shouted, with the teacher replying"Very good." Once again April fell back asleep. Shortly after the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, April being asleep, Johnny poked a pin in her rear. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The teacher fainted. - I particularly like this joke as I feel it would work really well as an adaptation. I think having the characters as animals, such as Johnny being a porcupine, with the spikes on his back being used as a pin. April being a cat as she is always falling asleep. And the teacher as a dove as dove are seen to be religious symbols. This would allow a lot of freedom on my part as to what the characters look like and just need to follow the simple narrative of the joke to effectively portray the punchline and make it funny.

A Scottish man calls his son in Australia the day before Christmas Eve and says "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty five years of misery is enough." "Dad, what are you talking about?!" The son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer." The father says "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you can call your sister in China and tell her." Frantically, the son calls his sister who explodes on the phone. "Like hell they're getting divorced!" She shouts, "I'll take care of this!" So she calls her dad in Scotland immediately, and screams at her father "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up the phone. The Dad hangs up the phone and turns to his wife. "Sorted! They're both coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way." - I can see this joke working very well adapting the characters into animals that are from the region in which they are talking, such as a kangaroo in Australia and a panda bear in China. I think having the phone calls would work best as split screens showing the different characters in completely different locations talking to each other.

A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and they all sit at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says, "What can I get you?" The man says "I'll have a beer please", The ostrich says "I'll have a beer" and the cat replies "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." "Okay" says the bartender "That'll be £6.87." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. 
About an hour later the bartender goes back over to the group and says, "What'll it be this time." Again, the man says "I'll have a beer." The ostrich says "I'll have a beer." and the cat says "I'll have half a beer, and I'm not buying." "Okay" says the bartender, "That'll be £6.87 again please." So the man reaches into his pocket, pulls out the exact change and pays for the drinks. A couple of days later the group come back into the bar and sit at the same place. "How you guys doing? What'll it be today." The bartender said. The man says "I'll have a scotch please" The ostrich says "I'll have a white Russian please" and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says "Okay, that'll be £11.37 please." So the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. The bartenders curiosity gets the betters of him and he asks, "Why is it that every time I tel you the amount you owe you always have the exact change in your pocket?" The man said, "Well I found a bottle with a genie in it and she granted me three wishes. My first wish was to always have the exact change in my pocket for anything I buy." The bartender replies "That's a great idea! Better then asking for a million pounds, that would run out, but your wish never will! What were your other 2 wishes?" He asked. "Well, you see, that's where I screwed up...I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy." - I feel as if this could work well as an adaptation as the punch line would get a lot of laughs. I also feel as if it would be something that is visually easy to represent, allowing the actions to speak the animation rather then having a narrator tell the joke over the top.

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